Dr. Bill Harford: No dream is ever just a dream.

Alice Harford: I do love you and you know there is something very important we need to do as soon as possible.
Dr. Bill Harford: What's that?
Alice Harford: Fuck.

Dr. Bill Harford: Now, where exactly are we going... exactly?
Gayle: Where the rainbow ends.
Dr. Bill Harford: Where the rainbow ends?
Nuala: Don't you want to go where the rainbow ends?
Dr. Bill Harford: Well, now that depends where that is.
Gayle: Well, let's find out.

Sandor Szavost: Don't you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? May I ask why a beautiful woman who could have any man in this room wants to be married?
Alice Harford: Why wouldn't she?
Sandor Szavost: Is it as bad as that?
Alice Harford: As good as that!

Alice Harford: Hmmm, tell me something, those two girls at the party last night. Did you, by any chance, happen to fuck them?

Alice Harford: So, because I'm a beautiful woman, the only reason any man wants to talk to me is because he wants to fuck me? Is that what you're saying?

Alice Harford: Millions of years of evolution, right? Right? Men have to stick it in every place they can, but for women... women it is just about security and commitment and whatever the fuck else!
Dr. Bill Harford: A little oversimplified, Alice, but yes, something like that.
Alice Harford: If you men only knew...

Nick Nightingale: I have seen one or two things in my life but never, never anything like this.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

Private Joker: The dead know only one thing: it's better to be alive.

Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

Private Joker: My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Today you people are no longer maggots. Today you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

Private Joker: Leonard, if Hartman finds us here, we'll be in a world of shit.
Private Gomer Pyle: I *am*... in a world... of shit.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Jesus Christ Pyle, don't try too hard. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there, wouldn't he?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: A rifle is only a tool. It's a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines. And then you will be in a world of shit. Because Marines are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people fuck!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!

Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: "Born to Kill," sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir!
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

Private Joker: I wanted to meet stimulating and interesting people of an ancient culture, and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.

Private Joker: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is V.C. Anyone who stands still is well-disciplined V.C.

Private Joker: How can you shoot women and children?
Door Gunner: Easy... you don't lead 'em so much. [laughs] Ain't war hell?!

Pvt. Eightball: What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamned beau coup.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?
Private Joker: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly!
Private Joker: Sir, the private said "no sir," sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! [Slaps Joker] You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out!

Marines: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing!

Eightball: Personally, I think, uh... they don't really want to be involved in this war. You know, I mean... they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the gookers, you know. But they don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards.

Animal Mother: Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the wrong gooks.

Mr. Halloran: Mrs. Torrance, your husband inroduced you as Winifred. Now, are you a Winnie or a Freddy?
Mrs. Torrance: I'm a Wendy!
Mr. Halloran: Oh! That's nice, that's the prettiest.

Wendy Torrance: I just want to go back to my room to think things over.
Jack Torrance: You've had your whole fucking life to think things over, what good's a few minutes more gonna do you now?

Jack: Have you ever thought about MY RESPONSIBLITIES?
Wendy: Jack, what are you talking about?
Jack: Have ever had any SINGLE MOMENT'S THOUGHT about my responsibilities? TO MY EMPLOYERS! Has it ever occured to you that I have agreed to look after the OVERLOOK until May the FIRST! Does it MATTER TO YOU AT ALL that the OWNERS have put their COMPLETE CONFIDENCE and TRUST in me that I have signed an agreement, A CONTRACT, in which I have accepted that RESPONSIBLITY?

Mr. Halloran: Some places are like people: some shine and some don't.

Grady: My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches and tried to burn it down. But I... CORRECTED them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I CORRECTED her.

Bartender: Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
Jack: Words of wisdom, Lloyd, my man. Words of wisdom.

Jack Torrance: You WERE the caretaker here, Mr. Grady.
Delbert Grady: No sir, YOU are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker. I ought to know: I've always been here.

Injured Guest with Head Wound: Wonderful party, isn't it?

[Jack is trying to kill Wendy.]
Jack: Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principle is, do you?

Jack: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me! And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?
Wendy: Yeah.
Jack: Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me typing [types] or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the FUCK you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means don't come in! Now, do you think you can handle that?
Wendy: Yeah.
Jack: Good. Now why don't you start right now and get the fuck out of here? Hm?

Danny: Redrum! Redrum! Redrum!

Jack: Wendy!
Wendy: Stay away!
Jack: Darling! Light of my life! I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in!

Jack Torrance: Here's Johnny!

Stuart Ullman: When the place was built in 1907, there was very little interest in winter sports. And this site was chosen for its seclusion and scenic beauty.
Jack Torrance: Well, it's certainly got plenty of that, ha, ha.
Stuart Ullman: ...The winters can be fantastically cruel. And the basic idea is to cope with the very costly damage and depreciation which can occur. And this consists mainly of running the boiler, heating different parts of the hotel on a daily, rotating basis, repair damage as it occurs, and doing repairs so that the elements can't get a foothold.
Jack Torrance: Well, that sounds fine to me.
Stuart Ullman: Physically, it's not a very demanding job. The only thing that can get a bit trying up here during the winter is, uh, a tremendous sense of isolation.
Jack Torrance: Well, that just happens to be exactly what I'm looking for. I'm outlining a new writing project and, uh, five months of peace is just what I want.
Stuart Ullman: That's very good Jack, because, uh, for some people, solitude and isolation can, of itself become a problem.
Jack Torrance: Not for me.
Stuart Ullman: How about your wife and son? How do you think they'll take to it?
Jack Torrance: They'll love it.

Dick Hallorann: We've got canned fruits and vegetables, canned fish and meats, hot and cold syrups, Post Toasties, Corn Flakes, Sugar Puffs, Rice Krispies, Oatmeal... and Cream of Wheat. You got a dozen jugs of black molasses, we got sixty boxes of dried milk, thirty twelve-pound bags of sugar... Now we got dried peaches, dried apricots, dried raisins and dried prunes. [Then, telepathically to Danny] How'd you like some ice cream, Doc?

Dick Hallorann: I can remember when I was a little boy. My grandmother and I could hold conversations entirely without ever opening our mouths. She called it "shining." And for a long time, I thought it was just the two of us that had the shine to us. Just like you probably thought you was the only one. But there are other folks, though mostly they don't know it, or don't believe it. How long have you been able to do it? ...Why don't you want to talk about it?
Danny Torrance: I'm not supposed to.
Dick Hallorann: Who said you ain't supposed to?
Danny Torrance: Tony.
Dick Hallorann: Who's Tony?
Danny Torrance: Tony is a little boy that lives in my mouth.
Dick Hallorann: Is Tony the one that tells you things?
Danny Torrance: Yes.
Dick Hallorann: How does he tell you things?
Danny Torrance: It's like I go to sleep, and he shows me things. But when I wake up, I can't remember everything.
Dick Hallorann: Does your Mom and Dad know about Tony?
Danny Torrance: Yes.
Dick Hallorann: Do they know he tells you things?
Danny Torrance: No. Tony told me never to tell 'em.
Dick Hallorann: Has Tony ever told you anything about this place? About the Overlook Hotel?
Danny Torrance: I don't know.
Dick Hallorann: Now think real hard now. Think!
Danny Torrance: Maybe he showed me something.
Dick Hallorann: Try to think of what it was.
Danny Torrance: Mr. Hallorann, are you scared of this place?
Dick Hallorann: No. Scared - there's nothin' here. It's just that, you know, some places are like people. Some "shine" and some don't. I guess you could say the Overlook Hotel here has somethin' almost like "shining."
Danny Torrance: Is there something bad here?
Dick Hallorann: Well, you know, Doc, when something happens, you can leave a trace of itself behind. Say like, if someone burns toast. Well, maybe things that happen leave other kinds of traces behind. Not things that anyone can notice, but things that people who "shine" can see. Just like they can see things that haven't happened yet. Well, sometimes they can see things that happened a long time ago. I think a lot of things happened right here in this particular hotel over the years. And not all of 'em was good.
Danny Torrance: What about Room 237?
Dick Hallorann: Room 237?
Danny Torrance: You're scared of Room 237, ain't ya?
Dick Hallorann: No I ain't.
Danny Torrance: Mr. Hallorann. What is in Room 237?
Dick Hallorann: Nothin'! There ain't nothin' in Room 237. But you ain't got no business goin' in there anyway. So stay out! You understand? Stay out!

Jack Torrance: The most terrible nightmare I ever had. It's the most horrible dream I ever had.
Wendy Torrance: It's OK, it's OK now. Really.
Jack Torrance: I dreamed that I, that I killed you and Danny. But I didn't just kill ya. I cut you up in little pieces. Oh my God. I must be losing my mind.

Jack Torrance: God, I'd give anything for a drink. I'd give my god-damned soul for just a glass of beer!

Delbert Grady: Did you know, Mr. Torrance, that your son is attempting to bring an outside party into this situation? Did you know that?
Jack Torrance: No.
Delbert Grady: He is, Mr. Torrance.
Jack Torrance: Who?
Delbert Grady: A nigger.
Jack Torrance: A nigger?
Delbert Grady: A nigger cook.
Jack Torrance: How?
Delbert Grady: Your son has a very great talent. I don't think you are aware how great it is. That he is attempting to use that very talent against your will.
Jack Torrance: He is a very willful boy.
Delbert Grady: Indeed he is, Mr. Torrance. A very willful boy. A rather naughty boy, if I may be so bold, sir.
Jack Torrance: It's his mother. She, uh, interferes.
Delbert Grady: Perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don't mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I "corrected" her.

Jack: Wendy! You have a surprise coming to you. Go check out the Snow Cat and the radio and you'll see what I mean. Go check it out!

Lloyd: How are things going, Mr. Torrance?
Jack Torrance: Things could be better, Lloyd. Things could be a whole lot better.

Alex: There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. And we sat in the Korova Milkbar, trying to make up our razudoks what to do with the evening. The Korova Milkbar sold milk-plus; milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and get you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.

Alex: Singing in the rain! Just singing in the rain!

Alex: Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?

Minister: As I was saying, Alex, you can be instrumental in changing the public verdict. Do you understand, Alex? Have I made myself clear?
Alex: As an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, Fred.

Alex: We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it being a night of no small expenditure.

Alex: Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Alex: There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a-howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as if it were a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was.

Alex: Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!

Alex: It had been a wonderful evening and what I needed now, to give it the perfect ending, was a little of the Ludwig Von.

[Alex has just struck Dim on the legs.]
Dim: What did you do that for?
Alex: For being a bastard with no manners, you haven't a dook of an idea how to comport yourself public-wise, O my brother!
Dim: I don't like you should do what you've done and I'm not your brother no more and wouldn't want to be.
Alex: Watch that, do watch that O Dim, if to continue to be on live thou, dost wist?
Dim: Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos to you. I'll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime. I'm not having you aiming tolchocks at me reasonless. It stands to reason, I won't have it.
Alex: A nozh scrap anytime you say.
Dim: Doobiedoob, a bit tired maybe, best not to say more. Bedways is rightways now, so best we go homeways and get a bit of spatchka. Right-right?

[Listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony]
Alex: Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures!

[Alex encounters his old friends, who are now police.]
Alex: It's impossible! I can't believe it!
Georgie: Evidence of the ol' glassies! Nothing up our sleeves, no magic little Alex! A job for two who are now of job age! The police!

Alex: Naughty, naughty, naughty! You filthy old soomka!

[About his wife.]
Frank Alexander: She was very badly raped, you see! We were assaulted by a gang of vicious, young, hoodlums in this house! In this very room you are sitting in now! I was left a helpless cripple, but for her the agony was too great! The doctor said it was pneumonia; because it happened some months later! During a flu epidemic! The doctors told me it was pneumonia, but I knew what it was! A VICTIM OF THE MODERN AGE! Poor, poor girl!

P.R. Deltoid: I've just come from the hospital; your victim has died.
Alex DeLarge: You try to frighten me. Admit so, sir. This is some new form of torture. Say it, Brother Sir.
P.R. Deltoid: It'll be your own torture. I hope to God it'll torture you to madness.

Alex: You know what you can do with that watch? Stick it up your arse!

Minister: If a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man.

Alex: It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen.

Tramp: Go on, do me in, you bastard cowards! I don't want to live anyway, not in a stinking world like this one!
Alex: Oh? And what's so stinking about it?

HAL: I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.

HAL: I honestly think you ought to calm down; take a stress pill and think things over.

HAL: I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

[HAL won't let Dave into the ship]
Dave: All right, HAL; I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

[On Dave's return to the ship]
HAL: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this.

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.

[HAL's shutdown]
HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid. 

Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy." [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

Dr. Floyd: Its origin and purpose still a total mystery.

HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amer. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb   (1964)

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.
General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, about, uh, 35 minutes ago, General Jack Ripper, the commanding general of, uh, Burpelson Air Force Base, issued an order to the 34 B-52's of his Wing, which were airborne at the time as part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Drop-Kick. Now, it appears that the order called for the planes to, uh, attack their targets inside Russia. The, uh, planes are fully armed with nuclear weapons with an average load of, um, 40 megatons each. Now, the central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes. The triangles are their primary targets; the squares are their secondary targets. The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within, uh, 25 minutes.
President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.
General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority.

General "Buck" Turgidson: I don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up.

[Turgidson advocates a further nuclear attack to prevent a Soviet response to Ripper's attack.]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless *distinguishable*, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.
President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

[The President calls the Soviet Premier.]
President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello? ... Ah ... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? ... Oh-ho, that's much better. ... yeah ... huh ... yes ... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming through fine. ... I'm coming through fine, too, eh? ... Good, then ... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and ... and I'm fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... a-ha-ha-ha-ha ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb. ... The *Bomb*, Dmitri. ... The *hydrogen* bomb! ... Well now, what happened is ... ah ... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of ... well, he went a little funny in the head ... you know ... just a little ... funny. And, ah ... he went and did a silly thing. ... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes ... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri. ... Let me finish, Dmitri. ... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri? ... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? ... *Of course* I like to speak to you! ... *Of course* I like to say hello! ... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call. ... Listen, if it wasn't friendly ... you probably wouldn't have even got it. ... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour. ... I am ... I am positive, Dmitri. ... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. ... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. ... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then ... I'd say that, ah ... well, ah ... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. ... I know they're our boys. ... All right, well listen now. Who should we call? ... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The ... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there. ... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. ... Where is that, Dmitri? ... In Omsk. ... Right. ... Yes. ... Oh, you'll call them first, will you? ... Uh-huh ... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? ... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information. ... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm ... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri. ... I'm very sorry. ... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well. ... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are. ... So we're both sorry, all right?! ... All right.

[After learning of the Doomsday Machine]
President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing?
Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense involved in the arms race, the space race, and the peace race. At the same time our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines. Our doomsday scheme cost us just a small fraction of what we had been spending on defense in a single year. The deciding factor was when we learned that your country was working along similar lines, and we were afraid of a doomsday gap.
President Merkin Muffley: This is preposterous. I've never approved of anything like that.
Ambassador de Sadesky: Our source was the New York Times.

[Strangelove admits that he investigated making such a machine.]
Dr. Strangelove: Based on the findings of the report, my conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent for reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious.

General "Buck" Turgidson: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

Lolita   (1962)

Humbert Humbert: You know, I've missed you terribly.
Lolita: I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you.
Humbert Humbert: Oh?
Lolita: But it doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway.
Humbert Humbert: What makes you say I've stopped caring for you?
Lolita: Well, you haven't even kissed me yet, have you?

Charlotte Haze: Do you believe in God?
Humbert Humbert: The question is does God believe in me?

Humbert Humbert: The best people all shave twice a day.

Charlotte Haze: Whenever you touch me, darling, I go as limp as a noodle.
Humbert Humbert: Yes, I am familiar with that feeling.

Spartacus   (1960)

Crassus (Laurence Olivier): Do you eat oysters?
Antoninus (Tony Curtis): When I have them, master.
Crassus: Do you eat snails?
Antoninus: No, master.
Crassus: Do you consider the easting of oysters to be moral, and the eating of snails to be immoral?...My taste includes both snails and oysters.

I am Spartacus.

Spartacus: And maybe there's no peace in this world, for us or for anyone else, I don't know. But I do know that, as long as we live, we must remain true to ourselves.

Gracchus: This republic of ours is something like a rich widow. Most Romans love her as their mother but Crassus dreams of marrying the old girl to put it politely.

Spartacus: What's your name?
Draba: You don't want to know my name. I don't want to know your name.
Spartacus: Just a friendly question.
Draba: Gladiators don't make friends. If we're ever matched in the arena together, I have to kill you.

Gracchus: You and I have a tendency towards corpulence. Corpulence makes a man reasonable, pleasant and phlegmatic. Have you noticed the nastiest of tyrants are invariably thin?

Antoninus: Are you afraid to die, Spartacus?
Spartacus: No more than I was to be born.

Paths of Glory    (1957)

Colonel Dax :  Sir, would you like me to suggest what you can do with that promotion.

General Broulard: Colonel Dax! You will apologize at once or I shall have you placed under arrest!
Colonel Dax: I apologize... for not being entirely honest with you. I apologize for not revealing my true feelings. I apologize, sir, for not telling you sooner that you're a degenerate, sadistic old man. And you can go to hell before I apologize to you now or ever again!

General Broulard: Colonel Dax, you're a disappointment to me. You've spoiled the keenness of your mind by wallowing in sentimentality. You really did want to save those men, and you were not angling for Mireau's command. You are an idealist -- and I pity you as I would the village idiot. We're fighting a war, Dax, a war that we've got to win. Those men didn't fight, so they were shot. You bring charges against General Mireau, so I insist that he answer them. Wherein have I done wrong?
Colonel Dax: Because you don't know the answer to that question, I pity you.

General Mireau:  If those little sweethearts won't face German bullets, they'll face French ones!

General Mireau:  They're scum, Colonel ... the whole rotten regiment. A pack of sneaking, whining, tail-dragging curs.

Colonel Dax:  Gentlemen of the court, there are times when I'm ashamed to be a member of the human race and this is one such occasion. It's impossible for me to summarise the case for the defence since the court never allowed me a reasonable opportunity to present my case.
French Official: Are you protesting the authenticity of this court?
Colonel Dax:  [Deep breath] Yes, sir. I protest against being prevented from introducing evidence which I consider vital to the defence. The prosecution presented no witnesses. There has never been a written indictment of charges made against the defendants. And lastly I protest against the fact that no stenographic records of this trial have been kept. [Pauses, walks left, stands in front of the prosecuting attorney] The attack yesterday was no stain on the honour of France. And certainly no disgrace to the fighting men of this nation. But this court martial is such a stain - and such a disgrace. The case made against these men is a mockery of all human justice. Gentlemen of the court, to find these men guilty would be a crime to haunt each of you to the day you die. I can't believe that the noblest gatepost(*) of man - his compassion for another can be completely dead here. Therefore I humbly beg you. Show mercy to these men.
French Official:  The accused will be escorted back to the guard room. The hearing is closed. The court will now retire to delubriate.

General Broulard: There are few things more fundamentally encouraging and stimulating than seeing someone else die.

General Broulard: Come, come Colonel Dax, don't overdo the surprise. You've been after this job from the start. We all know that, my boy.

Colonel Dax: I may be many things, sir, but I'm not your boy.